Thursday, January 12, 2012

In my dreams...

...

Have you ever had one of those dreams that are so real you wake up the next morning and get a little upset it isn't? I had one of those last night. Except this time I didn't wake up in a pissy mood that it wasn't. I know it may sound weird but sometimes I pray and ask God for certain favors, actually I do that more than I should. Sometimes I get a no but I prayed on Sunday night that when I fell asleep that I could see my mom. Everytime I pray, I always ask God to tell my mom hi and that I love her. I wonder sometimes if he let's her hear that part of my prayer... Anyway Sunday night I didn't have dreams :( but last night I did. I dreamed that I got to go to lunch and go shopping with my mom. You know ordinary things other girls do with their mothers as adults or daughters.

When I was 16 and my mom just passed away, I had dreams all the time about my mom. But in those dreams they were never good. My doctor even put me on sleeping medication to avoid them. They always ended with the same outcome, her being very ill and ultimately in a funeral home.

But last nights was different. It started off with me answering my door and my mom telling me to get ready because we were going to have a girls day. It was almost like we didn't live in the same town and she just surprised me with a visit. We went to brunch at a small bakery and we set and talked for a couple of hours and I caught her up on my worklife, my lovelife and my plans for the future. She just smiled and listened and not so much talked but just expressed herself with her facial expressions. And she was happy, so happy. we then went shopping for my niece Brentli, we looked at lots of dresses, all of the stores we went in had white fresh looking ensembles and we picked out white cotton dresses for Brentli. It was crazy. Crazy because obviously my niece will never have the opportunity to meet her grandma. But it was almost in that moment that everything felt perfect. Perfect because mom knew Brentli. My sister and I always say " I wish mom could know her", but it's almost like now I have a feeling that she does know her.

After we shopped we just drove home and I talked to her the entire way. I got to give her a big hug and then she was on her way to wherever she was headed. I do remember leaving Brentli's dress with mom because she was going to take it her. My only guess is that my mom was on her way to go see little B.

I woke up thanking God for that dream. I got a chance to feel like all those mom & daughters get to feel on a regular basis. Very neat. Miss that woman more than anything but I know she's happy and she's watching over us kids.

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