Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Relationship Real Talk

I try to share as much personal information on here as I can so that everyone can be in the know of what is going on in my love life, etc. But sometimes I debate of how much I should share with the world. So without getting too far into details I'm just going to write a small bit to let you guys know what's going on in my world right now...

With that said, relationships are tough shit. I'm pretty good at becoming a failure in relationships.

I'm pretty sure it's me and I just expect too much.

Regardless, right now I'm going through a ME phase of life. This week started out differently due to a decision I made for myself. It has been more about me and it's actually been nice to allow myself to be happy and enjoy the people around me. For the first time in months, I haven't felt any unnecessary added stress about trying to fix something that isn't fixable. This last relationship was full of a lot of ups and downs and unfortunately more downs lately. We cared deeply about each other and every feeling was very real, but now it's just time to focus on myself.

Change can be scary, especially after you have become comfortable to the routine of spending so much time with another person. It's also very hard to end a relationship when you have great relationships with each others family. It's also very hard when you have become best friends with someone but the relationship aspect isn't working, it make things very hard. (did i mention it's hard) I'm very sad to say that life is just tough sometimes, but I had to make a decision for myself and recognize what I needed to be fulfilled and happy. Right now, I'm just taking things day to day and it's still fresh but I just need to surround myself with positive.

“ I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as a blossom, goes on as fruit.”
- Dawna Markova

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