Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Seriously JK?

What the crap?

This happens all too often... I'm really doing good at the running sitch and then i have a crappy week. Full of self pity and debbie downer thinking. So i go into this mode, such a typical jeri kaye mode, when i start to start thinking negitavely and so i keep busy. All the friends that I have, I make come out of the woodworks of their normal living situations and hang out with me to keep me company. I start making phone calls, phone calls to people i haven't talked to nearly enough. I forget about the fact that I love running but most importantly that i need running in my life. (especially if i'm supposedly training) So here we are, a week after my friend, food & cocktail binging, questioning myself if i'm going to run this half marathon that I have been training for since January. Back and forth, like a teeter totter, weighing out the pros and cons...seriously? So tomorrow, I'm gonna have to get up early (i HATE early, it takes away those precious 15 extra minutes of sleeping in every morning) I will now be getting up at the dark hours of 5:15 to get to the gym by 5:30 and have double time types of workouts to try and get where I need to be by the 29th only to wake up and see if i'm really gonna do tha dang thang.

Shame on you jeri kaye.... shame!

On another note, I've really been shown a couple of positive things about myself lately. Two ways of how I've grown into a smart girl. (hey, better late than never ay?)

One way being in the way I look at a healthy and unhealthy relationship these days... I have an amazing friend who is really dealing with some things I have dealt with in my past. I'm now able to listen and give that friend small advice bits here and there. its nice to see that i've learned from a past experience and grown from that experience happening. I find that I can differentiate a healthy and an unhealthy relationship these days. (it took years to figure this one out though)

Second being in a way that i have gained independence over the years... in a financial sense. Papa bear taught me well. He cut me off from the daddy piggy bank when I was 18 years old. Ouch did it sting too. But now I'm glad he did. I'm by no means rich. Most the time broke even, but if I do go somewhere, such as traveling or get something nice that i've been really wanting, i like that I don't have to ask my dad for extra flow anymore. Although dad, if you are reading this, I still like getting the extra $20 here and there ;).

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