Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Grownup Life

Can we all agree that this shit is for the birds? I think we can. Take me back to the days when livin' was easy, when all we had to worry about was asking for a dollar for a candy bar and dr pepper out of the machines at school. (no wonder I was fluffy as a child) But then if you think about it, I was asking for a dollar a day, which is five a week, which then turns into twenty a month, which then turns into roughly two fiftyish a year, gotta count those months with an extra week. Think about that, my mom was giving me money to get candy and pop. (thanks mom!) While I enjoyed eating that candy bar and gaining these unwanted love handles, I am sitting here thinking TWO HUNDRED FIFTY!!!! Do you know what you can buy with two hundred fifty dollars? I bet we can all think of something that we could use two fifty to pay for.

Ok, so my point isn't that I need two hundred and fifty dollars, although, I won't say no to free money ;). But let's think about this, if someone was wanting two hundred fifty dollars of my hard earned money, I'm gonna say no. Therefore, my mom was way nicer than me, but honestly, we knew that. I'm getting to my point, just slowly...

There have been some situations around me lately that involve grown people not wanting to deal with grown up responsibilities on their own. I thought I'd share how it happened for me... and man did it suck! What I'd do to go back before I had to figure it all out..

When I was 18, I moved out of my dad's house to a place in Ada, Oklahoma. Good ol'e Ada.. Once I got there, my first stop was to figure out where I would live. I found a small place and contacted the land lord, I figured out the cost and contacted my dad. My dad said it sounded doable, but what I didn't know is that my dad thought it was doable for me and my expenses. What I had imagined back then was that I would get a place to stay with my rent and bills paid. Wait for it... that didn't happen. I was told that I was 18 that now my whole life was ahead of me and I would have to figure it out. (this wasn't done in the nicest fashion and I think I was mad at my dad for multiple months) That was a pretty tough lesson for this girl. From that point on, I was taking 16 hours at ECU and working 3 jobs. Oh not to mention, I had a boyfriend who was cheating on me and I was trying to beat an eating disorder that I had since I was 15. This was a pretty shitty time of my life. I can't even remember doing anything besides working, sleeping and crying. So weird. Because if you know me now, you know I'm not really a crybaby.

- I'm not saying this so anyone will pity me, just simply to show you shitty things happen, but life goes on, it gets better.

So eventually I figured it out, I started making my own money, paying my own bills and getting a life of my own. After about a year and half of that life, I packed up my stuff and relocated to the OKC area. Life has been a whirlwind of financial changes, a relocation to Texas and back, a couple of failed relationships, lots of fun experiences, meeting a lot of people, some really fun and not so fun roommates and one funny run in with the law on my lunch break. With all these experiences came a LOT of really great things, a handfull of REAL friends, an amazing boyfriend who I literally cannot imagine my life without at this point, a closer relationship with my siblings and other family members and a life I can be proud of. My dad can use his money and spend his retirement doing what he wants to do with his life, that makes me proud to know that he doesn't have me calling him asking for a handout.Would there be some shit I'd do different given the chance? Hell yeah! But I can stand here today and say that once you hit rock bottom, the only direction life can go is UP and things do get better in time. Work hard, don't depend on anyone besides you, once you hit bottom, get your shit together and choose to better yourself and learn as much as you can. I've learned with bad comes good, but you have to focus on the light at the end of the tunnel. Positive vibes, if that means getting away from the negative, then get away from the negative. Once you stop depending on others, you'll learn a lot about yourself and achieve what you want for you. Maybe this is shitty advice, I'm just saying it worked for me so that's my solution.

All in all, no one likes grownup responsibilities, it's just part of life!

p.s. I'm really hoping the person that I feel needs to read this is reading this, I know you are going through some tough life lessons, but no one said life is easy. I hope you understand that you'll be just fine if you work hard and want things to get better. Sometimes that means separating yourself from the negative stuff and taking chances.

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