Monday, April 25, 2016

Seriously, I cannot get my shit together these days, I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Let's of the past two weeks I've been a busy little bee. Wedding planning is in full affect, which really just means I've talked to my homegirls about it but haven't done much lol. It's all very emotional to me so I'm taking babysteps when it comes to planning. Luckily, there's just not a ton to plan. Will & I are aiming for a very laid back kind of wedding, one where we get to enjoy the people around us and celebrate love. I've done a lot of DIY projects, and for the most part just kept things to a simple yet hopefully cute vibe. Guess we'll see! Here's to hoping ;)

In the meantime, I have kept busy by working out a shit ton & running here and there. Slowly but surely getting a little more in shape. April has been quite busy that's for sure.

Made some champagne jello shots for Em's bach party, so bomb!

We have been busy celebrating the bride Emily and groom Jarrin by going to their beautiful couples shower and then their fun bachelor &a bachelorette weekend getaways. Such a fun time! Their wedding is right around the corner so exciting!

We saw third eye blind again at the new venue called The Criterion . It's a really cool venue and the show was way better than when we saw them in March.

I got celebrated as a bride from some of my best girls who got together for lunch and talked wedding stuff with me, I feel lucky they are all in my life, I believe God placed them all in my life because he knew I needed them and all at the right time in my life. We facetime'd a few of the girls that couldn't be there to celebrate the wedding talk, I love that these are the girls who know that I'm an emotional wreck but also care for me and are there to carry me when I need them as far as my emotions and wedding details go. I can't imagine trying to do any of this alone or without them by my side. I feel very fortunate to be surrounded by such amazing women, not just them that I met up with that day but the other women in my life, I feel overwhelmed with joy when I think about all of the wonderful women in my life. Women who inspire me, who are strong and all very unique in their own way!

At packet pickup, clearly they could tell I just needed a hug! 

I ran my month 4 marathon which was the OKC Memorial, I love that race, I love to run and experience everything that comes with running, I don't aim for the best time, I aim to run happy. I've been on an emotional roller coaster since getting engaged. I love that man and I'm so happy he is the guy I will spend my forever with. BUT.. I have avoided events that are supposed to be significant since my mom has been gone. I just don't like doing things without her, it's tough. Therefore, getting married to the person I love is very bittersweet for me. I want nothing more than to be his wife, but I didn't realize that all the emotions would try to take over my life. I won't let my emotions get in the way of my ultimate happiness. I will say that I am SO lucky when it comes to who I am surrounding myself with right now. Friendships that offer an over pouring amount of support is what helps me get through it. My fiance has seen me breakdown in tears probably more than I have in the years we have been together, and thank God for him, he just holds me and tells me he's in this with me. All that being said, yesterday I ran and decided to run some of the anxiety and pain out of my system, I think I cried two times, not because I was sad, but just because I needed to get it out. My running buddies kept me comforted all of Saturday and Sunday and I love them so much for that. They knew something was up, but instead of making me talk about it and it was an unspoken thing that something was affecting me and they were just there, they made me laugh, they made me smile and made it easier for me to get through the tough days. So when I ran yesterday I ran through the tough shit that was overwhelming me. We all met after we finished and hung out and laughed together and then we met up with our foxhole friends. I love them. I didn't want the night to end, but it had to, all good things must come to an end, my good day came to an end because I got carsick looking for Will's truck. Thanks a lot Wills... :)

Sneak peak of some of my DIY dreamcatchers for our wedding, I'm excited about our ndn/mexican fiesta :)
Shoba likes to help me with the dreamcatchers

5 months away til the day i'm a fernandez

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