Monday, June 20, 2016

Lately...

So I've been spending some good ole quality time lately.... With running, with crafting and friends and family in between. What a busy time for me/us now that we are at the "3 months til our wedding" mark. I've been excited, nervous, sad, happy, humbled, torn, stressed but overall more excited than anything to marry Wills. The months immediately following our engagement were stressful and hard, I was overwhelmed with emotion, I actually remembering crying to a friend on the back porch of another friends house because I was so overwhelmed. I still get very emotional about getting married without my mom being here, it's hard to explain.

However, the last couple of weeks have been eye opening and I realize it's my/our time to really enjoy this. Someday, I want to be able to look back with a smile. I have a great group of women who support me and have let me cry and laugh with them during this time. I'm so happy they are in my life to fill me with the positive support I need right now. It's always been said " you don't know how much you will miss someone until they are gone", I've known that I miss my mom, but I just quit putting myself in situations that I knew I'd realize on a much bigger scale how hard it is to go through life without her. Planning a wedding falls into the category of one of "those tough times", I've chosen not to run away or avoid it this time, even though I've wanted to. It can make you have an achy heart or your eyes fill with tears while walking down an aisle of hobby lobby and seeing mothers giving their daughters advice about napkins or centerpieces. My fiance has shown me an immense amount of support and that's how I know I'm making the right decision with him... i mean i knew, but now i REALLY know ;) He's also shown me that it's ok to enjoy this time and not feel guilty about enjoying it.

I decided this weekend that no matter what the next three months I'm going to enjoy this time of our lives and celebrate with the people who love us and support our happiness. As I said I've felt overwhelmed not only with sadness though, I've felt overwhelmed by the love and support I've received. I've always said my mom made a deal with God, she must have asked that throughout my life I would be blessed with fascinating and loving people. God has placed certain people in my life that almost feel like a coincidence, people of all different backgrounds, but all share something very much the same. And that characteristic is their heart. These people are the people I have been able to open my heart to and love as family. These people have carried me through life in some type of way. I could not do this, go through something in my life that feels so big, without you people who are letting me lean on you emotionally! You have allowed me to be broken and show it to you when for most of my life I laughed those feelings off or masked them in some way. For those of you that let me cry when I need to, and who have helped me laugh when I just need someone to let loose and laugh with. You guys have been perfect! Thank you for understanding me and us but most of all loving us! We love you!


Marathon #6 was killer, so tough





These spray paint companies should sponsor my wedding

Good friends pull your gray hairs out...

happy fathers day to my puppy daddy, you the real mvp



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