Words really cannot explain how busy I've been in the last few months. Just plain busy. I have finished all of the wedding DIY projects, and I'm now at a point where I can really balance planning the other details of the wedding like where we will stay, honeymoon map routes, and just spending time having fun with Wills and my girls. It's been an interesting process this whole wedding planning. Will often asks if I could go back now and change anything would I? He's seen me have some serious meltdowns, but what works for us is this wedding. We both love LOVE, we love our people and we would not want it any other way. The last two weeks we have began to focus on the FUN part of the planning, food sides (because who doesn't love food?) cocktail hours, family & friends hotel information and putting together our big wedding weekend as a whole.
These emotions, oh yeah I'm dealing with a good roller coaster ride, I'm up and I can get a little down but that's kind of my own fault for masking them so much over the years. But I have a guy who can let me cry and be over-reactive yet stays at a calm realm that keeps my levels where they need to be. He will never know how much he means to me. Shoot, I didn't even get it for a very long time, but at the end of the day he's always believed in what we have even when I didn't realize it, but I am SO thankful for him. The man he is, the patience he has with me and helping me the best me I can be, he made me want to be the best me. No one ever really made me want that before. I was complacent in who I was as a person, I was ok with how I dealt with certain situations in my life, whether that be relationships, my own personal growth, my attitude on certain aspects. But now, it's just different, I want to be a better me, I want to be open minded and be able to appreciate others beliefs and opinions, I want to be a loyal and joyful friend, I want to have personal growth, I want to be less guarded with my emotions with my people, I just want to be the best me I can be. Him believing in who I am, reminding me that I carry a beauty that he sees daily even when I feel broken or ugly, and making me feel safe is what got me to where I am today as a person. I'm so in love with the guy.
Speaking of great people and how they make me want to be a better me, I have the BEST friends. Not just one, it's never just been one. You know there are some people who just have the one, well, I have 7 of "the one's" these girls feed my soul. My bridesmaids have seen me through some crazyiness, and they have loved me unconditionally through it all. Some I've had a "tiff" with, but when we see each other we realize it's just something we dealt with and moved forward from, we grew together as friends. And I think that's only happened with three of my bridesmaids, and look at where we all are now, they are the ones that are gonna have my back on my wedding day. The girls who will make me laugh, calm my nerves, ease the anxiety and let me lean on them if I need to cry.
Last night I actually had dinner with one of these girls. She is full of so much beauty & inspiration and her name is Misty. This is a girl who has been in my life for years, who has seen me transition from a relationship that just wasn't right and wasn't working into a relationship that is working and it right for me. She knows my heart, we share a lot of things in common, we both lost our mothers at a young age, we are both independent and we both believe in signs from our moms. Every time I spend time with her my heart is so full. My heart is so full when I spend time with all my girls, they leave some big ole heart prints.
I cannot wait to spend time an entire weekend with them next weekend, it's going to be probably one of the best times of my life. As a matter of fact, these last eight months HAVE been some of the best months of my life, very eye opening, mind baffle-ling, crazy, fun, emotional and overall very fulfilling. Will and I are so incredibly lucky to have each other and wonderful friends.
Happy Friday you guys, I'm gonna go back to living on cloud nine for my friends and family and thanking God for giving me these people! Happy Heart right here!<3 p="">3>